Liewe Cariena, Ek het jou artikel onder die aandag van my kenners en 'n paar ander ma's gebring hier is die terugvoer wat ek sover gekry het ek sal die res oplaai soos ek dit ontvang: Ouer een: First, what worked for me may not work for you,but in general there are in my opinion a few things you are doing definitely, drastic wrong. You have no routine,that is your biggest problem. I also don't follow a strict routine,means my girl goes down later on special events, when we are out with her,or over the weekend,but that work for us,as that doesn't stress her out and she sleeps and reacts normal also the next day. Still she know when it's time for her to go down,as we follow our normal ritual, doesn't matter what time it is and she goes down without any problem and sleeps well. I also did co-sleeping with my girl in the first two months as I did also think it's easier to breastfeed this way,but I put her in a carry-cot on my bed next to me. She was still as close as sleeping right with me,but I thought from the beginning if I don't put her in her 'private-space-bed' I might have difficulties to move her later in to the cot. Which I did at three months without a problem ( Moses basket,later cot).She also woke most often twice a night at this stage,which is absolutely normal for most babies, even if they are formula fed. Exclusively breastfed babies tend to wake more frequent as mother's milk is easily digested than formula and has nothing to do with bad sleep pattern. There are exceptions but they are rare with exclusively breastfed babies. That the sleep pattern of your baby changed is also normal as she was from being three months so close to mommy moved to a cot and short after that,you left the room totally. That were two major changes in her life short after each other and babies do not like change that much. That eating and/or sleeping pattern change is also quiet normal when the next milestone kick in, new set of teeth break through,or things change. I think one of the things you should change is to make a difference in her eating habits and change the fluid intake. My daughter is given juice only as a treat. Not daily as well. If she is given some at home then very diluted with water. She actually gets water with a sip of juice. When we are on the go I'll give her on of this packs you can buy. But as I say, that's not the norm. Tea is also rare. My girl drink water the whole day. She eats plenty of fruit. Anything sweet like juice and ( I hope you don't sweeten the tea)tea if sweetened will cut down their appetite for solid food and fills them up with 'bad carbohydrate'.If your child eats healthy you don't need vitamin intake through commercial juice, as their sugar level are magnificent high. I suggest:start with diluted juice and stop giving it on a daily base. I am sure she will eat some more then. Also offer different variety of fruit cut in to pieces and have them always available to snack on. Be a good example,eat healthy in front of her,with her and drink water. I also suggest you to work on some healthy sleep patterns. Why do you sit with your child in front of the TV?Are you watching news with her and a thriller?I really hope you are not. I think you fell in the trap with doing what you think is the easiest for you,but you can be assured as everything else in life:The 'easy way' is never the right way! A child should unwind in a quiet environment,that's right,but definitely not in front of the TV. You should feed,bath and then go with your child in her room,read her a story,play something quietly,let her finish a puzzle or so and then f.e you two put the toy away,say good night to the dolls,butterflies,teddy bears(they all going to sleep also,because it's late,right ? ;-)  )and so on and put your child in her bed. AWAKE!Kiss her goodnight and tell her to sleep nice. When she protests,which she probably will,stay calm,loving but firm. Don't pick her up. Tell her she must sleep now and you are not going to disappear. You are in your bed,the lounge,whatever. She understands you!!Leave the room. If she doesn't stop crying,go back in after a few minutes reassure her you are not gone,calm her,but don't make her sleep in your arms. You go on like this. However often it takes to do it during one night. It might be hard on your nerve but be sure latest after one week your child will go down without a problem. It's worth going through this and solving your problem. The most important is to not make her sleep in your arms before you put her down,as she gets hysterical because she is disoriented. How would you feel when you wake somewhere else than  you fell asleep? You must let your child interact with other children,let Grandma go to a moms' group,or to play-classes with her. After a shy half an hour you will see your child enjoying the company and she will get better connected to other kids and socialise. Even if it doesn't happen immediately. Unfortunately all children will get sick at some point,even when it is just a small cold now and then. You might expect a few colds more when she starts going to crèche, but it is not a given and even if so, it won't harm her. A good working immune system fight most illness and viruses without the child getting sick and to get a cold now and then keeps the system in 'training'.My girl was with me at home for 2,5years before we sent her for two days a week(at the moment) to playschool. Before that I made sure she plays often with the kids from our street,all school going children which loved playing with a baby girl. I also arranged regular play-date with babies from my moms' group or met with her cousin which is six months younger. It is important for them to interact with other children. My daughter even though she was exposed to school going kids regular,as well as to other babies was never really sick as well So,I don't know where you read this about keeping them away from everything for two years makes the immune system stronger and if that is right,but I don't think so,as my girl wasn't sick even though she was exposed to ill kids and viruses. I even let her play with the kids next door,knowing that they are home and not in school because they are sick. Most often she did not get a cold,sometimes she would get a slight stuffy nose and cough for a day or two. That was it. So what are you afraid off?You can't protect them from everything,but what you can do and I think it's our duty to do the best we can,to provide them with healthy eating and sleeping habits, love and affection, the fundamental base of a healthy,happy child,that can fight anything in life. I also think when you start setting some rules in your house,your child will also be able to follow rules made by others (daycare).There are definitely good daycare option available and you should maybe contact 'planetparent/moederskip' again to get some good advice about where you can take your child,or ask people you can trust where they brought their children,when you think it's time for crèche. Even if you start with only one day or two like I did. My daughter love playing there and I am sure your daughter will love playschool too. There are some kids which cry a few times when Mom leaves but they settle quick. The teachers give them love and sooth them,give them attention when they need it and distract while playing with them. Soon your child will love to play and sing with all the other kids,you will see. Good luck with changing your approach!

Ouer twee: Dit is met baie empatie dat ek vir jou hierdie antwoord op jou storie skryf en slegs met die beste intensies. Dit is slegs 'n opinie en moet geensins as professionele of onderskrywe raad gesien word nie. Ek kan jou sê dat dinge nie maklik gaan gebeur nie, maar dat dit harde werk en toewyding van alle oorde gaan neem om jou dogter in enige roetine te vestig. In my leke sielkunde, en ouerskap kan ek net sê dat die volgende dringend noodsaaklik is. 1.'n Gesonde gevestigde roetine, 2.Baie sterk leiding van jou kant af, 3.Baie liefde en positiewe terugvoer. Uit jou artikel spruit dit duidelik dat daar nog geensins aandag geskenk is om jou dogter in 'n gelukkige en gesonde roetine te vestig nie, maar haar slegs te akkomodeer in jou normale gang van jou reeds gevestigde lewe. Dit is noodsaaklik vir enige kind om roetine te hê aangesien dit hulle help om sin te maak uit 'n wêreld wat skielik baie groter word, soos hulle groei. Dit is noodsaaklik dat slaap en eet roetines gevestig word om te verseker dat jou kind nie meer hierdie twee faktore gebruik as manipulasie om sin te maak uit haar omgewing nie. Jy moet soos die ouer in die bestel optree. Jy maak 'n stelling dat jy bekommerd is omdat jou dogter slegs aan grootmense gewoond is en nie interaksie met ander kinders het of wil hê nie. Op die ouderdom van jou kind tans is dit algemeen dat hulle nie ander kinders as maatjies sien nie, en eerder saam speel as met mekaar speel. Dit verander egter hoe ouer jou kind word, en sy sal spoedig begin om meer in ander kinders belang te stel. Jou kind het struktuur nodig en die regte dagsorg sal help om hierdie roetines te vestig. Die meeste dagsorg veral formele dagsorg opsies het opgeleide mense wat jou kind kan help om aan te pas, en sal slegs met die grootste liefde en begrip optree teenoor jou kind. Jy sal ook verbaas wees hoe vinnig jou kind se eet gewoontes moontlik sal verander as sy sien dat ander kinders “normale” kos eet. Dit is belangrik dat voedings nie gesien word as 'n taak nie, maar ook gesien word as 'n sosiale gebeurlikheid. Betrek jou kind by die maak van die kos en ook die tafel dek en aansit. Laat haar self eet, sodat sy self kan bepaal wat sy wil hê en dit sal haar ook groter en ouer laat voel. Rondom kieme en immuniteit – daar is heelwat produkte op die mark wat jy kan aankoop om jou kind se immuniteit op te bou.

Prof. Rona Newmark - Opvoedkundige Sielkundige: Ek dink al die vrae is baie relevant en belangrik en goeie roetines sal beide die peuter en die ouers baie ondersteun. Dit is belangrik om op hierdie stadium na die kleintjie se voeding en na meer detail van die hele gesin sisteem te kyk. Daar mag verskeie redes wees waarom sy nie goed eet nie, waarvan dit gewoonlik ‘n interaksie tussen fisiese, emosionele en ander behoeftes is. Veranderinge in eet- en slaappatroon is normaal, kinders se behoeftes verander, maar indien dit nou goed hanteer word, sal dit die gesin se funksionering ondersteun en nie toekomstige probleme skep nie. Soms kan ‘n eenvoudige verandering in dieet en aanvullings die probleme oplos. Blootstelling aan ander kinders is volgens my mening goed, want dit kan die kind se immuniteit stimuleer . Daar is ook goeie en minder goeie dagsorg-sentrums en dit is nodig om deeglik ondersoek te doen waar sy geplaas word. Die aanpassing wat van die kleintjie vereis sal word, mag haar help om in die toekoms makliker by vreemde situasie aan te pas, maar mens moet al die veranderlikes monitor. ‘n Kort antwoord sal ‘n onreg doen aan beide die ouers en die kleintjie. Daar is egter oplossings en die proses kan baie positief wees. Kinders verbaas ons dikwels met hulle vaardighede om aan te pas en ouers se vrese te lees. Hoe meer gerus die ouers voel oor die besluit wat hulle neem, hoe makliker sal die aanpassing vir die kind wees. Ek sal aanbeveel dat die ouers ‘n opvoedkundige sielkundige sien vir ouerleiding, want dan kan hulle ‘n stewige basis vorm wat hul ouerskap en die kleinding se ontwikkeling verryk.

Dr. Louise Lindenberg - Mediese Homeopaat: Jou baba se gedrag kan aan 'n paar faktore toegeskryf word, en om seker te maak dat hierdie gedrag slegs gedrag is en nie meer ernstige simptome is wat geadresseer moet word, stel ek voor dat sy 'n konsultasie met 'n arbeidsterapeut het, sodat sy getoets kan word vir moontlike sensoriese integrasie. Onrustigheid en angs, kan ook moontlike neuro-transmitters wees wat oor aktief is. Ek mag dalk paranoïes wees maar 'n volledige ondersoek is die enigste manier om 'n werklike evaluasie te gee. Indien jy sou wou kan jy ook met my 'n afspraak maak, net om seker te maak, dat alles ander moontlike oorsake uit die weg geruim word. Wat ‘n crèche of speelskool betref: mens moet rondgaan en die plekke se atmosfeer voel en met die mense praat. Dis iemand wat jou plek moet volstaan bedags en jy moet gemaklik voel met hulle. Die keuse is so belangrik en dit is so maklik om ‘n fout te maak dat ek haar bekommernis verstaan. Moontlike ondersteuning vir immuniteit: probiotika en iets soos Viral Guard oor die algemeen.